Monday, 17 October 2011

Murphy's Law

Many of us wonder why our life isn’t perfect. Why something has to go wrong anyway? And if something has to go wrong, why is it always us? Actually, we follow certain protocols, and the scheme made by our heavenly father is based on some rules and regulations. Let’s just say we are never in a state to guess what will happen next, because whatever happens will surely NOT be of our best interest.

When there is a possibility of several things going wrong, the one that’ll cause the maximum damage goes wrong first and the chaos takes place at a time we least expect! We coin the phrase “Be positive” so often but our errands don’t seem to be going in the positive direction. There always is at least one job that always follows a negative path. After all it’s all about energy conservation! Too much of a positive flow needs to be balanced by a negative element. And ridiculously, the work that gets screwed is co-incidentally the most important work always!

Sometimes it might happen that we feel all our tasks are going smoothly, and life can’t be better! But, (there’s always a ‘but’) we obviously might have overlooked something! And it’s usually the key point, which is the prime seed of destruction of the happening of all the other tasks. And we tend not to find it until it gets in position to ruin the rest of the lot. Nature always sides with hidden flaws, and we fight and strive to support campaigns that save nature, eh?

If what I said above holds, and still we are not able to find that one small error, it might not be present as such! What could be more pleasing! And yes, we are actually walking into an ambush here! In the old days during the Vietnam War, the Vietcong used to set up booby traps for the Americans, who are obsessed with their perfectionist theories, and believe they can always win a war. These guys finally end up blowing themselves up singing, “Over the land of the free and the home of the brave!”

Had all the builders built their building the way programmers code their programs, then surely the first woodpecker that came along would have destroyed an entire civilization! No offence intended to poor coders, but it’s all about more the amount of brains we have, the more we tend to jumble things up. We never run out of things that can go wrong. Thus we try to be so logical, you know! We always come to the wrong conclusion very confidently and systematically. When things are left their way, they tend to get from bad to worse. Entropy it is! We plan to keep our books nice and tidy all along, but all that happens is, there is always a layer of dust on them, however clean they are expected to be.

Finally, we have a category of people who call themselves experts! And they really are, as they know more and more about less and less and final end up knowing everything about nothing and damaging things which would have remained unharmed otherwise. It’s an interesting fact to note that when it comes to damaging things, things always get destroyed in direct proportion to their value, and the chance that we are the culprit also varies in the same proportion! We have often thought about the small fact that it is always us who are spanked at home for breaking Mum’s favorite and most expensive vase!

Overall, we find that there is nothing called an absolutely flawless and state-of-the-art possibility of a "perfect" thing. If things can go bad, they will go worse, until they end up being the worst possible. And this in short is known as "Murphy’s Law". And people who consider that rules are meant to be broken, they actually follow Murphy’s Law most sincerely.

Friday, 14 October 2011


When I started walking down the stairs today morning, I noticed something strange. The stairs seemed to go up! But people say that I was going down. Crazy they are, aren’t they? Now, if I was working in Ferrari, I would have bought Lamborghini and asked its CEO to mow my lawns. But the grease oils that we use in gears are really friction-reducing. They at least slip more than the apples that fell on Newton once upon a time when he discovered the now well known, gravitational phenomenon! So the owner of Honda suggested his scientists to build a bike that could run on water and thus Virat Kohli could get some more runs on the board when he is playing against the English! The striking feature of such a game is that people buy a lot of newspapers, and read articles on the Large Hadron Collider. And hence The Times of India is now thinking to collaborate with Castle Liquor.

Well, the word collaboration sounds a bit awkward here, because when we run at our peak speed, we tend to get tired! What good is a pizza without cheese? So they decided to put eggs in the popular South Indian dish called Dosa. Some people are well aware of the fact that if they kill fish, they will start eating stones. Stones are definitely not a good source of diet for camels, and they prefer to live on whiskey rather than rum. I talked to a few villagers of the Zulu community and discovered that they have a good taste of broken circuit boards. They fry them in coconut oil and feed it to their cattle. But how do the plants in the hilly region survive then? Just a 6-inch Sub from Subway (Eat Fresh!) is not enough for them of course, so the government of India has decided to pour Gatorade over the Shivalik Hills.

All of this has now leaded to Global Warming. The sudden heating up of atmosphere is causing Microsoft big troubles. Google is not able to lead the market because of the sole reason that ITC’s food products sell more than any other brand in India. Not ignoring the fact that you will drop dead if you inhale a lot of Ozone gas, we have thus concluded in numerous aspects that Yoga, if done early in the morning, will dramatically improve the health of cows. Although we have also kept in mind that Earth is not exactly a sphere, but an oblate spheroid, still we need citations on how to sell a product effectively in the market, when we know that consumers are least interested in buying it.

Before we started to sum everything up, we came across a very interesting process, known as photosynthesis. It was proven in 1675 that monkeys used to photosynthesize in the presence of lemon juice to produce 6 hamburgers every hour! This was a turning point of all my research, because now Eclairs is creamier than before! I badly wanted to show everyone that even an ant can swim, but then all of a sudden I heard that Steve Jobs died of cancer. What could be worse than a rotten apple! I couldn’t bite another piece of biscuit after knowing that!

Life always finds a way, and there is nothing on Earth which could be barred away from evolution. Similarly, our minds are also evolving, and we must let it flow. We must let our thoughts flow. I let my thoughts flow this way (you read whatever is written above, didn’t you?), how do you?